fish for a compliment
fish for a compliment (idiom)
/ˈfɪʃ fɔr ə kəmˈplɪmənt/
Meaning
- To subtly and indirectly seek praise, validation, or admiration from others.
- Attempt to make someone praise you.
- Try to get people to say something nice about you.
- Put yourself down so others will disagree and compliment you.
- Elicit praise through modesty or self-criticism.
- Engage in behavior intended to elicit flattery from someone.
Synonyms: seek praise; crave validation; solicit praise; beg approval; bait for compliments.
Example Sentences
- He’s always fishing for a compliment when he says he can’t draw—even though his art is great.
- I wasn’t fishing for a compliment, but thanks—I do like my new haircut.
- She claimed she was terrible at singing, clearly fishing for a compliment.
- He joked that he’s “a disaster at cooking,” obviously fishing for a compliment.
- “I’m so terrible at cooking,” she said, clearly fishing for a compliment about the delicious meal she had prepared.
Origin and History
The phrase uses the idea of fishing — putting out bait and waiting for a bite — as a picture for trying to get praise. This is the simplest and most direct explanation for how the phrase came to mean what it does. When someone “fishes” in speech, they use little baited remarks and wait for a compliment, just as a fisherman waits for a fish to bite.
Extension of “fish for” Theory
It may come from an older pattern where “fish for” meant “try to get” or “search for.” Earlier expressions like “fish for information” or “fish for news” show this pattern. Over time, the pairing with “compliment” would naturally mean “try to get praise.”
Social-Behavior Theory
In polite conversation, people often hint rather than ask directly. A modest remark or framed complaint can invite reassurance. This indirect social habit could have given rise to the phrase, especially in settings where praise and manners were important.
Literary and Letter-writing Theory
Early examples appear in letters and literary circles, where writers described praise-seeking behavior with the fishing image. These contexts helped spread the phrase beyond private correspondence.
Playful or Ironic Origin Theory
The phrase could also have started as wordplay. Speakers who liked witty ways to describe human behavior may have coined it for humor, and it caught on through repetition.
Country of Origin
Evidence points to England as the country of origin. The earliest known uses appear in eighteenth-century English correspondence and print.
Earliest Printed Record
The earliest known printed use appears in a letter from J.S.H. to William Shenstone, dated March 16 1754, and later published in Select Letters, a collection of correspondence released in 1778. In that letter, the phrase is used exactly in its modern sense:
“I do not fish for a Compliment, when I say, I have many dark Spots for a few white ones: but I flatter myself, you will have the Goodness to bear with my Foibles, more than any body else.”
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